So I'm feeling less "drunk" from the Trazodone, but still feel the need to back off a little more on the drug, give it a few days, and go up by 50 mgs. The drug has given me wicked nausea, as someone (because of depression) who already doesn't want to eat much AND is border-line anorexic with Body Dysmorphic Disorder, this is not a good thing. The more the scale goes down, the more excited I get, the more determined to not eat I get. For over a year now, my girls have made comments about the small amount of food I place on my plate. When someone says children observe everything, they're spot-on. I've gone from 129lbs to 124lbs since I started the medication last Friday.
So I didn't hear back about my lithium levels today and the office is closed. I believe my doctor is off tomorrow so it seems likely it will be Thursday before I hear anything. I'm still extremely weepy so I'm quite interested to find out what my levels are and if they need to be raised to 1,200 mgs. I am just so tired of fighting off this sadness and more than anything, having no power over it, it's totally beyond my control.
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