"God Saved You For A Reason."

....Those are the words the nurse pushing me out to the car in the wheelchair said to me. "God saved you for a reason and it was for taking care of those babies of yours and more."  Those words resonate with me. I don't know if I am sure it was God who saved me, I am actually highly inclined to believe He did, but those words have stuck thickly in my brain.   I am also inclined, on my logical, analytical side to reason out that it was dosage, metabolism, food consumption, weight, and time of intervention that prevented the ruining of my kidneys and liver or death.


What I do know is that there is a firm plan of action in place now. I have a psychologist and psychiatrist who are both quite near me and work in the same building and will be able to work in concert for my betterment. This therapist has several immediate members of her family who are bipolar, something I almost want to believe was set just for me, here I am, bordering on believing in fate and/or divine intervention. Problems at home I am sure will diffuse. Mr. Jane has already been helping more, has talked through with me what my stresses are, has work involvement to help with counseling to make us a strong, united front. So I have help and we have help, and the best of marriages can benefit from some good counseling, this is a great thing. Other things have been owned up to, I hope they hold true and that this house is a quieter, more peaceful place. I hope I get back on track to be the mother and wife I need to and can be, and even better. And lastly, with all these...blessings?...coming through, I ask for one more....that I get full funding for college in the switched/new major I've chosen. I have new hope with that field.

Though there have been tense times, I thank my husband for standing by me through my suicide attemptS (this last one was only the most real and serious..and the last) and my ups and downs with my moods...but then again, I've dealt with his too (slight joke). It takes a lot of love to stay with someone through all of that. That's another realization of this week, that inspite of it all, it takes a lot of love to stand by someone with what he's stood by me through.


So...God saved me for a reason...bring it on and THANK YOU!